I haven't yet posted twice in one week, let alone twice in one day.  But Reuben told me there was an earthquake in school today, so I sat down to look at the usgs earthquake map tonight.  There were five earthquakes nearly under his school today!  He went to bed in tears, saying he had the worst day because something he wanted to happen today, didn't.  But to me, it is the best day because something that could have happened today, didn't.  Instead of one big earthquake, there were five small to moderate ones.  Heavenly Father was looking after my children today.

I was considering the terms self reliance and spiritual self reliance today and made some discoveries.  I asked myself..."Why be self reliant?".  Is it so that we can provide for ourselves at all times?  Yes, but because we are here to learn to be more like our Savoir, I think it is so that we can help provide for others as well.

So...what does the term "spiritual self reliance"mean?  What does it look like?  Is it having a spiritual well deep enough so that when things get hard we don't fall apart?  When I think of spiritual self reliance I think of  being able to endure the "hard times" looming in the future referred to in the scriptures.  But sometimes things feel hard now.  Do I have the spiritual self reliance I need now, so that when I have a hard day, and nothing goes well, and the finances seem hopeless, and the children are hard, I don't dump on my husband when he walks into the door.  Maybe true spiritual self reliance would even mean having a little extra to give him if he were having a hard day also.

I wondered what examples of spiritual self reliance were in the scriptures.  I instantly thought of Alma when he was commanded to go back to Ammonihah  after being thrown out the first time.  He was starving, having not eaten for a long time.  He turned around immediately and the Lord had prepared Amulek to care for him.  So Amulek cared for Alma physically, but Alma was so spiritually self reliant, that after everything he had been through, he still had enough in his spiritual well that he was able to teach Amulek and convert him.  And when the people of that city chased out the believing men and burned the women children,  Alma still did not loose faith and become angry with God.  I think this is what spiritual self reliance looks like.

 I think my spiritual well gets depleted a little too quickly.  I am too quick to become angry when things don't go well, and feel abandoned when challenges aren't removed when I think they should be.  I think spiritual self reliance means having a spiritual well deep enough to endure whatever challenges come without becoming angry, and still having enough compassion, love, and faith, to share with others.  I think the only way to build this spiritual self reliance is to have it repeatedly tested so I can practice it.  So...the challenges I am having now serve to help me dig a deeper spiritual well.  And how I respond to them gives me a good measuring stick to know how deep it is.    Knowing this, I think I can endure a little better, with a little more faith and hope.  I want to have enough spiritual strength to share with my family every day.  Through the difficult time today, and tomorrow.

Being spiritually self reliant means I am able to wait patiently on the Lord without becoming angry, bitter, or loosing faith.

This year is going to be AWESOME!  In January I obtained some natural yeast starts and started baking bread.  I love this baking method.  I have known I have had wheat issues for years.  Then in December a dear friend gave me a book called "The Art of Baking with Natural Yeast".   I obtained some starts and jumped right in.  In one short month I have converted all my wheat recipes.  From pancakes, muffins, chocolate cake, cinnamon rolls, to sandwich bread I make it all with a natural yeast start that I keep in my fridge and feed twice a week.  I feel so much better and am ready to get rid of all the yeast I have stored.  I can't wait to see what happens in February!