It is amazing how many thoughts impressed themselves into my mind the day we dropped Garrett off. I think I loved Dan (my husband) more on that day than any other. I was profoundly grateful for him. I am so grateful for the father that he has been and is. It changed my prospective on our marriage. Since then I feel less judgmental of him, more able to just let him go through things on his own time table.

That day was also the parenting reset I needed. I have spent too much time lately just wanting peaceful alone time. I have wanted my kids to be self sufficient, just for my sake. I came away from that day more committed to the ideals I had when I started parenting. I will spend more time being present with my children. More time teaching, reading, and playing. I realized that time with my children is finite, and that I don't get back what is lost. I don't want to regret  lost time. I will be a more engaged parent because of this experience.

A friend shared something with me that makes a lot of sense. She said that experiencing loss actually cemented her siblings together. That it awakened in them the need to cling to each other. I can see how that could be true. As we pray for Garrett, and each of the kids in family prayer, I think it does bring us all closer.